Time to Think

Yesterday I had my 1 year review at Bed Bath and Beyond.  Everything was great, I'm above average, I'm well versed in the entire store, front end, soft lines, hard lines and I'm a great Bridal Consultant and those are things you find at every store.  So can I have a raise?  Absolutely.  17 cents.  Wtf.  


So, it's been about 6 weeks since I graduated from KU.  And on this beautiful day, where it's about 75 degrees outside, my dogs are playing, I got to sleep in til at least 11:30.  But at 2:45, I have to leave Topeka for a closing shift starting at 3:30.  That commute is so much wasted time.    


I still work at Bed Bath and Beyond.  In Lawrence.  Why?  That's a great question.  I stay because I need to make money.  Even though I'm living at home, I still would drive to Lawrence to see Zach.  And I want to put money aside for our wedding.  I don't transfer to Topeka, because I don't want to be there that much longer.  But I honestly haven't poured my heart into finding a job.  Like career job.  


I'd like to find something that I couldn't have gotten without my degrees.  But I don't have a plan.  Before I graduated, I didn't really, seriously think about how to make a career out of a Linguistics major and a Classical Antiquities major and an English minor.  I have no idea what I want to do.  I could tell you all the things I don't want to do.  


But there isn't a career path for people with majors like mine.  


And I feel like I work 7+ hours every other day.  I have no regular days off.  So I don't have chances to fix up my resume, drive around picking up applications, browse online for jobs.  Not enough time.  I've considered just leaving my job.  It'd give me the time I need to clear my head.  That's what I said before I graduated.  I was going to move home and then there'd be time to clear my head, down time, time to think.  But there'd be no income.  And I'm the one who pays my loans.  


There it is.  I mean, that is the trapping reality of life.  I have to make money.  Because I'm in debt.  I have to do it.  There is no more down time.  


I'm going to request to cut my hours back.  That's what I'll do.  It's a decent compromise.  I want to talk it out with Zach first, but I'd still make enough money to pay loans and save some for the wedding.  But I'll have more time.  That's what I need.  Time.  


Ok, ok.  Done.